I have raised this concern before because it is very challenging for me. How do we be in the world but not of the world?
Ellen White said that we should imitate the Puritans in our homes and personal appearance. I have enjoyed the privilege of visiting two of Mrs White's homes. There is nothing about them that could be characterized as Puritan. I have looked at many photos and observed that Mrs White dressed like a Victorian woman. She was a Victorian woman living in Victorian homes. This raises the question of whether we should be trying to live as though we are in a past era when Ellen White did not do that herself.
I have compared Mrs White's appearance to her mother-in-law's appearance. She did not dress like her mother-in-law. Ellen White dressed like her contemporaries.
If Mrs White was alive today what sort of home would she live in and what would her appearance be like? Would she be at the extreme of wearing long skirts and long hair or the other extreme wearing trousers or short skirts and a fashionable hair style? Or would she be somewhere in the middle?
I currently wear my hair long and wear long skirts exclusively. This is easy to do because I am in a conservative mission context. However, I will be returning to my home country soon, a highly secular country where my conservative appearance can be a problem for people (in the community and in the church). I occasionally see another woman with the same appearance as me in church, but they are few and far between. Most church women wear the latest fashions, make-up and jewellery (of some form e.g. broach, necklace, ring/s).
I am tempted to change my appearance when I return to my home country in order to fit in better. I am thinking of cutting my hair shorter and even wearing trousers (modest trousers not jeans). I am the only woman in my entire family who dresses conservatively. I do not have any friends in my home country who dress conservatively.
Am I just being stubborn by being conservative when everyone around me is fashionable? I really need to settle on a position soon. How can I rightfully represent God's character to my loved ones when I know that my appearance annoys them and even embarrasses them at times?
Many dress like the world in order to have an influence over unbelievers, but here they make a sad mistake. If they would have a true and saving influence, let them live out their profession, show their faith by their righteous works, and make the distinction plain between the Christian and the worldling. The words, the dress, the actions, should tell for God. Then a holy influence will be shed upon all around them, and even unbelievers will take knowledge of them that they have been with Jesus (Testimonies for the Church, 4:633).
Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution. (2 Timothy 3:12)
Please share your experiences of doing what you believed was right despite persecution. How did you know whether you were just being stubbornly different or genuinely keeping your life in harmony with the gospel?
Well, Shireen, I can:t post from my main computer, and don:t have access to Ellen White material on this one, and the EGW site is down now, so I can:t copy and paste the quote I think you are referring to, but if it is the one in Testimonies vol.5 (of 9 volume set), the clear intent is that we are to live very simply. We are not to waste money on needless ornaments and other things which I give the moniker "fuel for the fire".
I think nb's examples are very good. Whatsoever you eat, drink, or wear, do it all to the glory of God.
Regarding Ellen White's example: I never see her advocating an entire rejection of current culture. Take the good, and leave the bad. Don:t worry too much about what people think, but if it is something that is going to outright cause people to reject the truth, then maybe it is OK to do. For example, I believe neck ties are "fuel for the fire" and totally unnecessary. If all SDA men used the money spent on neckties to send to missionaries in the field, without a doubt there would be thousands/millions more believers in the world than we have today. Yet, if not wearing a necktie is REALLY going to cause someone to stumble in their faith, it might be good to wear at times.
NB, you didn't mention your hair. My hair is currently long and I tie it up. I am middle aged and my hair is starting to get thinner. Sometimes I think (due to pride) that I would like to cut and perm my hair like my peers. Other times, I think I should persevere with long hair.
What is your approach to the question of women's hair and femininity?
NB, you didn't mention your hair. My hair is currently long and I tie it up. I am middle aged and my hair is starting to get thinner. Sometimes I think (due to pride) that I would like to cut and perm my hair like my peers. Other times, I think I should persevere with long hair.
What is your approach to the question of women's hair and femininity?
I do as my husband wishes with my hair... most of the time it is long and just hangs around my shoulders... I do not braid but I see nothing wrong with that as long as it is simple.. On hot days I do wear it up as a pony tail as that is just so much cooler.
On rare occasions I have had it cut short as it is so much easier to take care of that way... in the shower and out and air dry and on my way!!
Hardly ever wear hats but for some women with problem hair I can understand that and have no problem with that as long as it is simple, clean, and neat.
The rule I think is nothing that says "Here am I, Look at me!"
NB, thank you for sharing your common sense approach. My husband also appreciates my hair being longer rather than shorter. I also agree with you that simple is best. If I'm trying to draw attention to myself, that is a problem.
Speaking as a man, when my wife lets her hair grow longer within feminine lengths (shoulder lengths or longer as she chooses ) I like it better, it is not androgynous but complimentary to her feminine appearance, and visually appealing to my male brain wiring, very short hair to me on a woman, seems masculineizing and androgynous definitively giving me as a man a wrong message, <IE : Sodom & Gomorrah for women>( medically induced hair loss - cancer & brain surgery excepted ).
Clothes that both flatter and wisely conceal are appreciated, pants and shorts of all kinds NEVER conceal they lead and draw the eyes and assist Satan's attack on male brain wiring. The same thing is true of men speaking to women and girls - keeping the words and messages, appropriate, pure, holy or they will assist Satan's attack on female brain wiring.
I noted such androgynous hair and clothes on female couples & female shop keepers in Santa Fe NM last summer, our host said it is the lesbian capital of the USA. The more flaiming, the shoerter the hair, more tattoos, shorter tighter & less clothes.
Speaking as a man, when my wife lets her hair grow longer within feminine lengths (shoulder lengths or longer as she chooses ) I like it better, it is not androgynous but complimentary to her feminine appearance, and visually appealing to my male brain wiring, very short hair to me on a woman, seems masculineizing and androgynous definitively giving me as a man a wrong message, <IE : Sodom & Gomorrah for women>( medically induced hair loss - cancer & brain surgery excepted ).
Clothes that both flatter and wisely conceal are appreciated, pants and shorts of all kinds NEVER conceal they lead and draw the eyes and assist Satan's attack on male brain wiring. The same thing is true of men speaking to women and girls - keeping the words and messages, appropriate, pure, holy or they will assist Satan's attack on female brain wiring.
I noted such androgynous hair and clothes on female couples & female shop keepers in Santa Fe NM last summer, our host said it is the lesbian capital of the USA. The more flaiming, the shoerter the hair, more tattoos, shorter tighter & less clothes.
Ed, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts on this matter. Greatly appreciated.
How about hair dying and makeup? I think they can have their place to cover up an unsightly blemish, but must be used with care, as very soon this becomes a vanity issue.
How about hair dying and makeup? I think they can have their place to cover up an unsightly blemish, but must be used with care, as very soon this becomes a vanity issue.
I do dye my hair only because my husband wants me too... if it were up to me, I would not... don't get me wrong... it is not purple or green or wild... just to fit in and look natural is all...when people ask, I tell them I'm a bottle blonde...
